


Uncertainties

by messynotwriter



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Drama, Eventual Romance, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, How Do I Tag, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Don't Even Know, Love Confessions, M/M, Multi, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Slice of Life, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-14
Updated: 2019-06-20
Packaged: 2020-05-07 15:43:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19212514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/messynotwriter/pseuds/messynotwriter
Summary: The struggles of falling in love with someone you're not supposed to fall in love with.





	1. I-	Confusion

**Author's Note:**

> I made the mistake of introducing Haikyuu to a friend of mine, who apparently is an avid reader of BL mangas, and she asked me who I'd ship in a M/M relationship. I told her it'd probably be Kuroo/Tsukki (I have no idea why though, I just really like their dynamics, I guess? The first time I saw their characters together, something just clicked. lol), to which earned me a squeal from her because she apparently thinks the same. And so, for a month she tormented me with her whining (requests) to write a fic about Kuroo/Tsukki to post here, and I declined a few times because I've never written anything with substance (lol, so sad). I mean, I've only ever written quotes and speeches for other people, never anything with a plot, and with characters with very complicated personalities (hoho). However, I had no choice but to cave in, because, well, I'm weak under pressure (save meeee). So here I am, writing this thing. Don't even know if I'm doing this right, so please go easy on me. Also, English is not my first, nor my second language, so I have very limited vocabulary. I hope you can understand whatever this mess of a writing is. This is going to be a long journey - or not, we'll just see where this goes, but I'll see this through, probably. *wink

* * *

 

The first time Tsukishima noticed that something was wrong was during their training camp in Tokyo, just before the prefectural qualifier. A few days before the training camp, he asked their coach, a little hesitantly, if there was a way to stop an opponent’s spike when they are taller and stronger. While their coach gave him some tips, he also said that the best blocker that Tsukishima could probably learn from is Kuroo, since he is considered to be one of the best blockers in Tokyo.

That day, he had made the resolve to learn, to take in as much experience and information as he can, so he can improve his blocks for their future matches. He'd never admit that to anyone - especially to the idiot duo - though. So when Bokuto called out to him the moment he stepped inside the court, he pursed his lips and agreed to jump blocks for him, albeit a little reluctantly.

Before the practice matches started, he played with Bokuto and Akaashi to warm up, but his eyes were wandering about, his ears trying to listen for someone's voice, searching somewhere, while trying to keep his attention on Bokuto's overzealous spikes. He heard Hinata's obnoxiously hyper voice, and Kageyama's low muttering – possibly to himself. Somewhere in the court were also Tanaka, Nishinoya, and that one guy from Nekoma with the weird hair, Yamamoto, if he remembered correctly, talking about the beauty of their manager.

He sighed inwardly.

"Hey, hey ,hey, Tsukki! Don't get distracted and put more effort into your blocking." Bokuto howled while preparing to spike the ball.

He didn't say anything and just jumped to attempt to block Bokuto's spike, only to fail.

"Yay! I'm totally the best! Right, Akaashi?" Bokuto happily jumped with his fist in the air.

Akaashi however just sighed and picked up another ball, probably so they continue what they were doing and just get it over with.

"Don't be so full of yourself." A familiar voice from behind him said just as Tsukishima was frowning at the sweat uncomfortably dripping on his back.

Tsukishima didn't need to turn to see who it was that spoke. He would recognize that slick, laid back voice anywhere. Well, he'd probably recognize Bokuto's or Hinata's voice anywhere too.

"The only reason your spikes went through was because my megane apprentice here seems bored of practicing with you, and..." Kuroo stopped beside Tsukishima, glanced at him, and sported his provoking smirk at Bokuto. "...because you weren't dealing with me."

"Shut up, Kuroo!" Bokuto shouted while pointing a finger at Kuroo, which earned a smug sneer from Kuroo.

Tsukishima stayed silent while listening to their annoying exchange of insults and looked at Kuroo, who was still smirking, his hair still looking as ridiculous as it did the first time he saw him, and his eyes still looking like he wouldn’t mind provoking the devil himself.

When he heard Kuroo's voice, he realized that _that_ was what he was searching for a little while ago. He only had a glimpse of him when he greeted them after they arrived, but he never saw him inside the gym, and they've been there for almost an hour.

One of the reasons why he was looking forward to the training camp that weekend was because he wanted to learn more from Kuroo, not just because their coach said that he was the best person to learn from when it comes to blocking, but also because he admittedly learned quite a few things from him during their first training camp. He knew that in order for his blocking skills to improve considerably, he has to learn from the best. With these thoughts in mind, it was natural that he'd somehow unconsciously listen for Kuroo's voice, like an instinct of a disciple eager to learn from his master.

"Tsukki here is my adorable student, so you best not underestimate him too much. I'll make sure he'll be able to block all your spikes before you graduate, and you'll be bawling your eyes out." Kuroo said, hands on his hips in all his smugness, and laughed provokingly at Bokuto.

"What did you say?!" Bokuto answered indignantly, still pointing at Kuroo, his face huffing and puffing at Kuroo’s provocation. "Joke's on you, Kuroo! No one would be able to stop all my spikes. I'm awesome after all, right Akaashi?" He turned to look at his setter whose face clearly shows he’s not interested with the childish banters.

"And yet, you barely made the top 5 Bokuto-san." Akaashi answered with no visible expression whatsoever.

Bokuto groaned and dramatically clung to the net in front of him. "Akaashi, you were supposed to agree with what I said."

"I agree, Bokuto-san."

"Too late!"

Kuroo was snickering beside Tsukishima at the state Bokuto was in. He was clearly proud that he was able to rile and irritate his rival captain, and Tsukishima couldn't help but feel oddly confused at his admiration for this person beside him.

"You're late, Kuroo-san." He said after Bokuto calmed down and Kuroo was picking up some of the balls on the floor, his voice dragging every word for emphasis, his expression showing complete lack of interest.

“Oho? What’s this?” Kuroo tilted his head a little, his hands on his hips, his grin forming from ear to ear when he looked at Tsukishima. “I didn’t realize you’d miss me this much, megane-kun.”

Tsukishima didn’t say anything, but the crinkles in his forehead were enough to let Kuroo know that he was not in the mood for his provocations.

Kuroo, however, did not seem to be fazed by his reaction and just sneered at him.

“Silence means yes, you know?” Kuroo quipped.

Tsukishima, pursed his lips, and with his expression as dead as his patience, turned to Akaashi. “Akaashi-san, I wonder if there’s a medicine we can take to extend our patience against stupid and obnoxious people.”

Bokuto snorted at what he said, and Akaashi looked as if he’s contemplating about something before he answered.

“You know what, Tsukishima, sometimes I wonder about the same thing.”

“I’ll let you know, in case you haven’t noticed, I’m actually quite lovable.” Kuroo said and winked at him , his grin still etched on his lips that it made Tsukishima felt like he wanted to rip it off.

“Whatever makes you sleep at night.” Was all he said, before he turned to look away.

_Sometimes, I just want to smack him in the face._ He thought to himself, but he's never going to say that aloud. Despite Kuroo's level of annoyingness in Tsukishima's annoying meter, he understands all too well that Kuroo's abilities as a captain and as a blocker deserves respect. And he respects Kuroo a lot, although he's never going to admit that out loud either.

...

They weren’t able to continue their spiking and blocking session because a few minutes after Kuroo arrived, they were called to start the practice matches. But Tsukishima still found himself listening everytime Kuroo said something during a match, mostly to exasperatedly yell at Lev about his posture and timing when blocking. He listened intently, for every word Kuroo uttered, even when he was occupied with trying to block their opponents’ spikes, hoping to hear some pointers that might be of use. And after a few matches, and a few hours in, he realized that it became a terrifying habit.

He found himself hearing Kuroo’s voice even when he wasn’t saying anything helpful, like when he was talking to Yaku about how he’s had no luck getting a good night’s sleep before the training camp because his feet hurt after he bumped it somewhere, or when he mentioned to Kenma that he was thinking about shaving his head off ‘cause it’ll probably help with his bedhead.

_What the hell?_ Tsukishima muttered to himself. He was annoyed by this sudden development. Sure he wanted to hear Kuroo talk about blocking, but never about anything else. He wasn’t that interested in other people’s lives. But somehow, it seemed like he couldn’t stop himself from listening to whatever nonsense Kuroo was saying, and he was getting more irritated by every useless information that he was hearing.

“Tsukkiiii!”

Tsukishima flinched when he heard the familiar voice call out his name and saw Bokuto waving at him, his smile stupidly radiating.

 

“Jump some blocks for me later, yeah?”

 

He looked at Bokuto and wondered if there will ever come a day when he can make that stupid face of his scrunch in frustration during a match. Not that he has _that much_ of confidence in his blocking skills, but it would be amusing if he can. Probably even liberating.

 

He maintained his uninterested look before he answered. “Yeah. Sure, Bokuto-san.”

 

Bokuto leaped excitedly and flung his arm around Tsukishima’s shoulders. “Yay! Let’s get that bastard Kuroo to practice with us.”

 

Tsukishima did not bother to remove Bokuto’s hand and just stayed silent. In the corner of his eyes, he noticed Kuroo looking at them, and he turned to look at him. He saw Kuroo staring at them intently, without his usual smug grin. It was as if he was observing them, his brows scrunched together, and his eyes intimidating. His stare was heavy and Tsukishima felt unusually uneasy, although he wasn’t sure why. He felt like he did something that offended him in some way, and he didn’t like that feeling one bit.

 

“Hey hey hey, Kuroo! Come here!” Bokuto excitedly called out to Kuroo.

 

He might’ve noticed where Tsukishima was looking and beckoned the man who was looking at them too.

 

Kuroo casually walked towards them, his eyes still looking intently, his face looking more and more like he’s irritated.

 

_Maybe he’s tired?_ Tsukishima thought. _Or maybe he doesn’t want to deal with Bokuto-san’s hyper mood since he mentioned he did not get enough sleep_.

 

When Kuroo was finally beside them, he felt more uneasy with his presence, and unconsciously clasped his hands together awkwardly.

 

“Hey, let’s practice with Tsukki later before dinner. I already told Akaashi about it.” Bokuto chirped and flung his other arm over Kuroo’s shoulders, to which Kuroo responded with a low grunt.

 

“Oh? And Tsukki agreed to this?” Kuroo asked while looking at him, his expression a mix of curiosity, irritation, and something else that Tsukishima had never seen before.

“ ‘course he did. Tsukki has been a little enthusiastic about blocking since he also agreed without fuss when I asked him this morning too.”

 

Kuroo’s expression somehow changed a little, from irritation to slight amusement.

 

“Really?” He mused. “Well, that’s a little surprising. Finally feeling a little motivated now eh, Tsukki? I hope my mentoring was part of the reason why.”

 

He stayed silent for a while, trying to weigh in his words before he uttered them. He was fidgeting with his fingers when he opened his mouth.

 

“Yeah.” He replied, honestly, to which apparently surprised both of the guys beside him. Although he knows that he can be stubborn and prideful, he can be honest too, and grateful. And he definitely knows to be polite when necessary.

 

“Kuroo-san, I hope to learn more from you during our weekend training camps. Please take care of me from now on. You too, Bokuto-san” He said without hesitation while slightly bowing his head. He did not falter in his words, despite feeling a little embarrassed. He did try to maintain his deadpan expression.

 

He saw Kuroo’s face literally brighten up after he said those words, and Bokuto looked taken aback.

 

“Ohoho? My, my, seems like our Tsukki has grown up a bit, Bokuto. It makes me wanna cry.” Kuroo, who seemed to look like he’d just seen the most surprising thing in his life, what with that stupid leer back on his face, said, his eyes squinting with how wide he was grinning.

 

“Tsukkkiiii!” Bokuto wailed a little and jumped at him for a quick hug, to which made the others from their teams look curiously. They were probably wondering why Bokuto was being all dramatic again and Tsukishima winced at the attention they had attracted.

 

He heard Kuroo chuckle before he felt him jump at him too, which made him grimace because both of the guys now clinging to him weren’t really what he’d considered light, and he stumbled a little. Before the two guys let him go, Kuroo pinched his cheeks and smirked, but he did not react. He wasn’t really fond of gestures like that, and he knows Kuroo likes to treat him – as well as the others – like kids, but he found himself not minding it too much. Not like he wanted to get used to it either.

 

...

 

The days went surprisingly fast for Tsukishima, and he found himself wondering if he’d be able to improve in the short span of time before the qualifier matches. Kuroo had been patiently teaching him the basics and he was getting a little used to Bokuto’s spikes. His body was reacting a little faster compared to their first training camp, but he wasn’t sure if he had significantly improved his blocking skills.

 

However, there was one change that he was getting confused and annoyed about. During their weekend training camps and late night practices, he always seemed to find himself glancing at Kuroo, mostly unconsciously. Sometimes, whenever Kuroo was out of his sight, he’d find himself trying to listen for his voice, or searching for his face. The only times he ever realized that he was stealing side long glances was whenever he met Kuroo’s gazes, and the latter seemed to be as confused as he was, given the way he raises his eyebrow everytime he caught Tsukishima looking. He’d look away as soon as their eyes met, but sometimes, he’d glance back, slowly, the expression on his face probably unreadable. At first, he thought it was because he was only trying to see if Kuroo would gesture some blocking pointers at him, or tell him necessary information for improvement. But even when they weren’t playing, when they were simply having their meals or resting, he’d still find himself looking at Kuroo. He’d find himself staring, at his exposed legs, and sometimes wonder how a person can have such amazing thighs. He’d find himself looking at his absurd hair, devilish eyes, those broad shoulders, his infuriatingly provoking smirk, and those pesky laughs he’d hear from him from time to time. And the more he noticed these things, the more he realized that Kuroo’s an insanely, frustratingly attractive person. And he’d wonder why he could come up with such words to describe a person - a guy in this case, which made it even worse.

 

Whenever they get too close when practicing with Bokuto and Akaashi, Tsukishima would feel uneasy, like he’s scared that if their skin would touch, he won’t be pleased with what he’ll feel during or afterwards. So sometimes, he’d purposely distance himself a little farther from Kuroo, which would normally earn him an earful from the latter saying they won’t be able to properly block Bokuto if they’re too far apart.

 

_Ugghh. What the hell is wrong with me?_ He’d find himself asking that far too often during the past few days.

_...._

The second time Tsukishima noticed that something was definitely wrong was during their last weekend training camp.

 

“Oh yeah, Tsukki, hey! How’s that practice with your bro’s team goin’ for you?” He heard Bokuto asked him during their lunch.

 

He was sitting beside Yamaguchi and Nishinoya when Bokuto and Akaashi casually joined their table, surprising both of the guys sitting beside him.

 

Tsukishima looked at both Bokuto, his expression probably visibly annoyed, and thought for a minute before swallowing his food and sighing. Bokuto is many, many things, and being persistently annoying is one of those things. But despite that, he was also eerily nice, and stupidly helpful. Not to mention, he did owe him for his advice, and those relentless training sessions. So Tsukishima gave up on staying silent.  “Okay, I guess. Akaizawa-san has really strong spikes. But I still haven’t been able to block them successfully yet.” He answered resignedly and took another mouthful of food.

 

Bokuto’s eyes twinkled. “Really? Is he better than me?” Excitement evident in his voice and Tsukishima held back from rolling his eyes, or smirking.

 

He maintained his deadpan expression but dragged the next words that came out of his mouth in a lazy manner, so Bokuto would not miss any. “Of course, Bokuto-san. He’s an adult, and...” he fought the urge to smirk again, “...not like you’re number 1 in that department.”

 

He heard Nishinoya and Yamaguchi chuckle, although the latter tried to stifle his so as not to be so obvious.

 

“Wha-?” He saw Bokuto’s mouth flew open at what he said and glared at him, clearly a little insulted and mostly just to be dramatic. “That’s not fair Tsukki! You know I’m one of the best out there. Akaashi,” He whined to the person sitting beside him who was nonchalantly eating his meal, “Tsukki is making fun of me.”

 

Akaashi just sighed, and tapped Bokuto’s back. “Don’t mind, Bokuto-san.”

 

It earned another laugh from both Nishinoya and Yamaguchi and a seemingly pained groan from Bokuto.

 

“Noooo. Not you too, Akaashi!”

 

Tsukishima could’ve laughed a little at Bokuto’s display of dramatic gestures if not for the voice that suddenly crept from behind him.

 

“Yo, Bokuto, what’re you doing being so obnoxiously loud there for? I’m four tables over and I could still hear your voice over there.”

 

It was Kuroo and his laid back voice that made Tsukishima unconsciously sit upright, his shoulders stiff. He fought the urge to look up and see the owner of voice that was hovering above him. Then, he felt Kuroo’s hands on his shoulders, like he was leaning on Tsukishima and somehow, it felt like his body froze, his hands itched from the sudden electricity that seemed to course through his body. And his stomach, his stomach felt like the organs turned upside down. He wondered what face he was making at that moment, but he tried his best to stay composed and calm, clutching so hard at his wit that was trying to slip away.

 

“Kuroo~” Bokuto whined again, this time at Kuroo. “Listen to this. Tsukki is being mean. He told me he was practicing with his brother’s college team, and when I asked who was better, me or the ace of that team, he told me he was better than meeeee.”

 

Kuroo cocked and eyebrow and smirked. “Well of course he’s better, you idiot. He’s in a college team. That much should be obvious. Also, you’re being annoying. Stop being such a drama queen.” He snarled, exasperatedly. Clearly he’s had enough of Bokuto’s wantonness.

 

“Gah! Not you too Kuroo, you bastard!”

 

Kuroo’s hands are still on Tuskishima’s shoulders and it seemed like he had no intention of removing them, which made Tsukishima more and more uncomfortable as Kuroo and Bokuto kept bickering.

 

He felt Yamaguchi nudge his shoulders at him and spoke in a soft voice. “Tsukki, Nishinoya-san and I will go ahead. Meet you later at the quarters before we start practice. I think I’ll take a little nap.”

 

He wanted, _no_ , really wanted, to stop Yamaguchi from leaving him, or at least go with him, but he couldn’t get away now that Kuroo’s hands are planted firmly on his shoulders and he couldn’t possibly let Nishinoya and Yamaguchi sit there and do nothing when they could use what little time they have left from their lunch break to take a rest. So he sighed and reluctantly nodded to Yamaguchi and Nishinoya.

 

“We’ll go ahead, you guys.” It was Nishinoya who spoke and nodded to them, to which Bokuto replied with a hyper “ _okaaay, see you later~”_ while Akaashi and Kuroo nodded, and Yamaguchi bowed and mumbled his excuse before he hurriedly followed Nishinoya and out of Tsukishima’s sight.

 

He heard Kuroo sigh above him before he removed his hands from Tsukishima’s shoulders, to which he was utterly grateful for because he didn’t think he would last another minute in that position without sweating from head to toe. Kuroo then flopped beside him, still a little close, and tapped his fingers on the table.

 

“So,” Kuroo spoke, his voice a little deeper, “Tsukki has been practicing with a college team?” He asked nonchalantly, his eyes on Bokuto, but somehow Tsukishima felt that the question was directed at him.

 

Bokuto, now recovered, perked up. “Oh yeah. I asked Tsukki what he was doing a few days back because he hasn’t been replying much to my messages, and he told me he was practicing with his brother’s team after school hours.”

 

Tsukishima pursed his lips. Despite Bokuto being his senior, and being one of the people who had helped him a few times, and he generally respects, but sometimes, sometimes he just wants to seal his mouth with a tape. Something that would keep it permanently close. Forever, if possible.

 

Tsukishima minds his privacy and he does not want any information about what he’s been doing come from other people. It’s not like he does not want Kuroo to know. If Kuroo asked him directly, he’d tell him.

However, if he’s being honest, he really does not want to let Kuroo know right now about other things from his life. There’s this nagging feeling inside him that it won’t be good for him to let Kuroo know more about him.

 

And then there was that feeling again. Something heavy, like a prickling sensation from beside him. It was like a pressure that makes him feel like he needs to apologize for something. It makes him uneasy, but he has no idea why.

 

“Oh?” Kuroo’s voice was a little sharper now, but he doubted if Bokuto or Akaashi noticed it since they did not react. Well, Akaashi usually does not have any reaction on anything. “You and Tsukki keep in touch?” This time, he could feel Kuroo’s gaze on him, and it made him fidget awkwardly in his seat.

 

“Huh?” Bokuto seemed a little confused at first at the question directed at him, but still answered with glee, “Yeah. ‘s cause Tsukki and I are friends, yo. So, I text him from time to time.”

 

_Friends._

 

Despite the awkwardness that he felt, he noticed a smile curve from his lips. No, not a smile. More like a triumphant smirk.

 

_Heh. If that shrimp Hinata heard what Bokuto-san said just now, he’d definitely throw a fit of jealousy._ Was all he could think of, and he almost chuckled. Almost.

 

“Huh.” Was the only response he heard from Kuroo. His eyes still fixed on Tsukishima, a little probing, intruding even.

 

“It’s more like, you keep bothering me with your useless messages every day Bokuto-san.” He managed to retort despite feeling more and more uneasy by Kuroo’s silent stare.

 

Although Kuroo is normally fairly great at handling conversations, stupidly so, being the bastard that he is, Tsukishima is now unnerved by his unusual silence.

 

“Whaaaat?! I don’t send you useless messages Tsukki. It’s Akaashi who sends nothing but periods, or just a word. It’s not even funny.” Bokuto said while softly nudging at Akaashi, to which made the latter look at Tsukishima and then Kuroo, who was then looking at his fingers tapping the table.

 

“I think Tsukishima likes my replies better than yours, Bokuto-san.” Was Akaashi’s dry reply.

 

“Really?”

 

“That’s true.” He replied and shrugged his shoulders.

 

Kuroo, who still remained silent, looked at Tsukishima again, and he made the mistake of looking back at him. He shivered at the piercing stare that was directed at him, that he almost stood up, if not for Coach Ukai who appeared from nowhere to remind them that they had to be in the gym a few minutes from then for the practice matches.

 

Akaashi and Bokuto both stood up as soon as they heard Coach Ukai and started carrying their trays, and when he stood up to follow them, Kuroo held his wrist in place. The sudden touch sent shivers down his spine.

 

“Let’s go together.” Kuroo said, his grip a little tight on his wrist, and his mouth pressed together firmly, like he was cautious that he might say something else.

 

Tsukishima just nodded, and Kuroo let him go. He waited for Kuroo to stand up, and when he did, they slowly walked towards the area where the trays are put. After a while, they walked towards their quarters and Kuroo stayed silent along the way, his hands on his pockets. And although he felt uncomfortable, he didn’t say anything as well. Or more like, he didn’t know what to say. They stopped when they reached the Nekoma quarters, which was 2 rooms away from Karasuno’s, and Kuroo turned to look at him. The heavy expression on his face now nowhere to be seen, his expression a little softer, and his eyes looking a little tired.

 

“I’ll just change quickly and freshen up. I’ll go get you when I’m done.” Kuroo said.

 

He was confused why Kuroo would need to get him. But the expression on his face made him nod, and before he could understand his own decision, he turned and walked towards Karasuno’s quarters. Never had he felt so lost, and confused before. He was always a man of reason and rationality, never driven by anything other than logical reasoning, but as of that moment, it seemed like the changes in his emotions are turning him into a different person and he didn’t like that one bit. The confusing sensations that he’d been feeling are definitely not welcome. He frowned at himself and sighed in exasperation. _I’m going crazy._

 

...

 

After their practice matches, the blocking sessions with the same people, including Lev and Hinata this time, was quite normal. Nothing unusual happened, to which Tsukishima was thankful for. Kuroo was back to being himself, which meant that he continued to teach both him and Lev about blocking. Sometimes, their hands would touch while they stood side by side, and they would linger - probably unconsciously on Kuroo’s part – and Tsukishima would feel a little tug on his stomach. But he maintained his composure. He listened intently whenever Kuroo said something about the positions of their hands; about looking at the opponent’s eyes to determine which direction they’d spike the ball. He noted every instruction in his mind, and observed Kuroo’s every move whenever he blocked Bokuto’s spikes, to which always earned the latter’s loud “ _no_ ”s and “ _damn you Kuroo_!”s. And after their practice, they all went to eat and bid each other goodnight when they were done.

 

Tsukishima felt the soreness all over his body and he groaned a little when the water from the shower hit his skin. The fatigue was wearing him out, but he was thankful for everything that he had learned. While in the shower, he contemplated about a lot of things. About the things he’d learned, about the efforts he had exerted just so he can improve, and about how he was able to think that his new found determination is not as pathetic as he once thought it was.

 

The truth was, he wasn’t really against giving effort that much. He just wasn’t too keen about giving too much effort only to fail in the end. He finds unfounded expectations a little bothersome. Especially when even with efforts given, the result is still uncertain. He does not want to hope for something that might disappoint him in the end. He does not mind giving an effort though, as long as the result is guaranteed, like studying. He puts an effort into studying because he knows he’ll yield the appropriate result. And he admits his shortcomings, although sometimes, it comes off as him lacking confidence. With volleyball, the end result is uncertain because he knows that there are a lot of variables involved. Like the strength of his team, and the strength of his enemies. More importantly, his own strength. It’s not that he’s insecure, he’s just very aware of the things that he lacks. Although lately, he hasn’t been thinking about those things much, and he’s even surprised at how much he’s changed. Lately, he’s been feeling like if he does try, maybe it wouldn’t be so lame to hope that they can pull it through. He remembered his blocking sessions with Bokuto, Akaashi, Lev (sometimes), Hinata (whenever Kageyama isn’t available), and Kuroo and he thought that they might be the reason why he’s changed a little. He’ll probably keel over first before he says that to their faces though, especially to Hinata.

 

He sighed again and shivered a little when he realized he’s been in the shower longer than he had intended to. He stepped out and went back to their sleeping quarters after he got dressed, his towel hanging on his neck, with water still dripping from his hair.

 

They still have more than an hour of free time before the lights are required to be turned off so after he got his phone and his headphones, he hurriedly walked outside of the room. Yamaguchi was already fast asleep so he tried his best not to make as much noise as he was getting his things. Their training camp was in Nekoma’s school so there was a backyard just below the room that they sleep in. There’s a bench in that backyard, probably meant for students who want enjoy eating their bentos outside, so Tsukishima went down and sat there, with his hair still wet, and put his headphones on his ears to drown out the voices of some of his teammates, and the other schools. Lucky for him, no one thought of going to that backyard, so he had the place all to himself.

 

While he was listening to the music, he felt some water drop from his hair to the nape of his neck down to his back, and he shivered when a light breeze hit him. He didn’t bring his towel or a jacket so now he realized that it felt a little cold outside. He shrugged and stretched his legs to ease himself to the feeling of coldness before he looked up at the night sky. He felt at peace at the sight of the stars and the moon and he closed his eyes before a yawn escaped his mouth.

 

Suddenly, he felt a warm hand on his nape, and his eyes shot open in surprise. He yelped a little and immediately turned to look at who it was that disturbed his peace. It was a little dark in that place that he was sitting in, and he did not have his glasses, so he had to squint his eyes to get a proper look. The first thing he saw was that hair that looked liked it’s just survived a tornado, so he pretty much already had an idea who it was.

 

“Kuroo-san?” He asked, a little hesitant, before he took down his headphones down to his neck.

 

“Your hair’s still wet, Tsukki. And you’re here without a jacket. Aren’t you cold?” He heard Kuroo ask, and he was sure he could hear the concern in his voice.

 

He squinted his eyes again, before he answered, his forehead scrunched at the sudden intrusion. “Yeah, well, I forgot to bring a jacket. Didn’t realize it’ll be this cold. Why’re you here?”

 

Kuroo scoffed, or at least that’s what he thought he heard, and he felt a towel on his head. Kuroo was wiping his hair with his towel and Tsukishima couldn’t help but feel a little bewildered, and he couldn’t find it in himself to speak. He felt something warm in his chest even when he heard Kuroo mumbling something like a complain.

 

“I saw you walk out here and was curious where you’re going with your hair still dripping wet in this temperature. You shouldn’t have gone outside without properly drying your hair at least. Are you that desperate to catch a cold?”

 

“I don’t catch colds easily.” He mumbled back.

 

“Until you do.” Kuroo snorted.

 

“Which I’m sure I won’t.” He shot back and made a humming sound when Kuroo gently squeezed his head and patted his hair dry. When the towel left his hair, he shivered a little again at the sudden loss of the warmth of the fabric on his hair and Kuroo might have noticed this because he put his jacket over his shoulders, the new warmth enveloping his body comfortably.

 

“You should wear that. Your clothes are so thin, and honestly, you don’t have an ounce of fat in your body to keep you warm at least.” Kuroo said before he propped down beside him, the towel that he wiped Tsukishima’s hair with draped over his shoulder.

 

He was actually really feeling cold and the jacket provided him the warmth that he needed at the moment so he did not decline Kuroo’s kind gesture. He mumbled a word of thanks and turned to look at Kuroo, whose face he still can’t clearly see even with the distance. His brows furrowed a little and he heard Kuroo chuckle.

 

“If I didn’t realize that you can hardly see me, I’d think you’re ogling me. Very aggressively.”

 

He frowned at what Kuroo said and looked away.

 

“Sorry.” Kuroo apologized, his voice giving away his amusement. “You look different without your glasses on.”

 

“Different how?” He asked, his voice flat. He wasn’t curious about what Kuroo meant, but he was trying not to be rude by at least engaging in a conversation seeing as Kuroo had already been kind enough to him.

 

“Hm.” Kuroo seemed to think for a minute for an appropriate word to use. “Younger and... er, nicer?”

 

“Huh?” He raised his eyebrows at the description he heard from Kuroo.

 

“Yeah, like your glasses actually made you look more like a handsome snob. But without them, you look just as good, but a little less mean.” Kuroo said, his eyes fixed on Tsukishima like he was studying the features of his face. It made him feel a little uncomfortable. He had never been described like that, not by anyone. But knowing he was being looked at by Kuroo, of all people, enough for him to describe him that way, made Tsukishima a little taken aback, and he fiddled with his fingers when he felt the tension in the air, and that knot in his stomach that he refused to acknowledge.

 

“Sometimes, you say the weirdest things Kuroo-san.” Was all he could manage to say.

 

“I can hardly count that as weird.” Kuroo mused and he felt him lean on the bench, his hands were at the back of his head while hummed a melody that Tsukishima had never heard of.

 

A few seconds of silence passed when he felt Kuroo turned to look at him again. “By the way, Tsukki. What type of music do you always listen to?”

 

He pondered for a moment if he should answer that question or stay silent. He felt like answering all of Kuroo’s questions would basically mean he won’t leave, and Tsukishima won’t be able enjoy his solitude.

But it would be rude if he ignores Kuroo, and despite his nasty personality, he does not want to be rude to people older than him, people who’s been nothing but nice to him, or people he owed a lot to.  And Kuroo is all of those people, despite his provocations and smugness.

 

He sighed and closed his eyes. “Nothing in particular. Just random stuff.” Great, now he has to sit here, feeling uneasy about having this guy sit next to him for the entirety of his free time.

 

“I bet you listen to a lot of indie songs, or songs that one would normally listen to during rainy days.” He could hear the certainty in Kuroo’s voice and it made him feel a little irritated.

 

“What makes you say that?” He asked, feigning nonchalance.

 

“You just seem like the type. Smart people really don’t have any specific preference in music, but they normally listen to things that tug at their emotions. Probably to compensate for their lack of it on a daily basis. So, I think you listen to songs from different genres, a lot of Indies, and rainy day songs, some pop and rock songs probably as well.”

 

Tsukishima couldn’t help but look at Kuroo after he said that, his lips forming a smirk. “Wow, Kuroo-san, that was deep. You could probably write a book with that.”

 

He heard Kuroo chuckle again. “I probably could. Except I just read it somewhere too. I can’t remember where though.”

 

He didn’t give any response, not of confirmation or denial. He did not want to encourage the subject further. He felt like he was not ready to comment on something that might lead him to share something very personal about himself. Especially not to someone he’s still surprisingly wary of. Or is it himself and the emotions he kept feeling whenever he’s with Kuroo that he’s wary of?

 

Kuroo turned to him, probably noticing his reluctance, and didn’t press on. However, a few minutes of silence and Kuroo once again started asking about something else.

 

“So you kept in touch with Bokuto, huh? Didn’t think you’d be the type to give your number to the likes of that loud idiot.”

 

He shrugged, the expression on his face irked at the memory of Bokuto pestering him about giving his number. “Yeah. But Bokuto-san was persistent. Said it might be helpful one day, if I ever think about asking him for advice about volleyball, although I doubt that was his intention. Probably just wanted to pester someone other than Akaashi-san.”

 

Kuroo raised an eyebrow, “And? Did you ask him for advice about volleyball?”

 

Tsukishima hesitated for a moment before he answered. “When my brother asked me to practice with his team, I couldn’t decide right away. I asked Bokuto-san and Akaashi-san if I should go, and they encouraged me to go.”

 

“I see.” He heard Kuroo heaved a heavy sigh, and he tensed at the atmosphere that enveloped them both. He wasn’t sure, but Kuroo seemed displeased with what he said.

 

“So what else do you talk about? I mean, aside from volleyball.”

 

He got a little confused with Kuroo’s interest in his and Bokuto’s conversation – which were normally a bunch of nonsense, if he may ad, so he shot Kuroo a look of confusion before he answered. “Nothing much, really. It’s just Bokuto-san blabbing about anything. But it’s mostly directed at Akaashi-san.”

 

“Huh?” Now it’s Kuroo’s turn to be confused. “Akaashi?”

 

“Yeah. Since it’s a group chat with me, Bokuto-san and Akaashi-san.” He sighed tiredly and pinched the bridge of his nose, shuddering at the coolness of his hands. “I don’t even know why he feels the need to send his messages in the group chat when he can just send it directly to Akaashi-san.”

 

“Well, Bokuto is a simpleton, but he can also be weird in his own ways.” Tsukishima could’ve heard wrong, but he thinks he heard relief from Kuroo’s tone when he said those words, and he felt himself relax now that Kuroo does not seem to be pissed off for some reason.

 

“You can be weird too, Kuroo-san.” He said matter-of-factly and he heard Kuroo’s soft chuckle.

 

“I think you meant awesome there.”

 

He snorted at what Kuroo said that made Kuroo grin from ear to ear again, but both of them did not say anything else.

 

He stayed silent for a while, not feeling like responding and breaking the comfort of the silence between them. Just listening to Kuroo breathe beside him. Tsukishima isn’t really the type to hold long conversations. He’d much prefer a comfortable silence, or a situation where even though there are people chattering about, he won’t feel obliged to open his mouth.

 

He noticed Kuroo looking at him and opening his mouth as if wanting to say something only to close it again. Kuroo shifted uncomfortably when a breeze of wind passed and it did not escape Tsukishima’s notice when he shuddered a little. He held the towel on his neck, probably to take some of its warmth, and Tsukishima felt a little guilty. There he was, enjoying the warmth of Kuroo’s jacket, complaining that he might have to spend the rest of his time talking with him, when the guy next to him has been nothing but kind. He tried to scoot a little over to Kuroo’s side, just a little. Enough to have his shoulders bump with Kuroo’s so he can at least share his warmth. Kuroo looked at him, probably surprised by the sudden proximity, but he didn’t say anything. Tsukishima felt the familiar tingle in his fingers, and the warmth in his chest. The same tingle he felt whenever their hands brush against each other during their blocking session. The tingles always make him feel uneasy, but oddly pleasant. It was a weird feeling.

 

They stayed like that for a few minutes, not saying anything, just staring at nowhere, and then Tsukishima felt his eyelids become heavy. Not surprising since they had been practicing non-stop, and he had been feeling exhausted for a few days now. The warmth from Kuroo’s shoulder seemed to travel through all the parts of his body, and it strangely made him feel so comfortable and drowsy. He wanted to fight the drowsiness by trying to make a conversation but he felt like he had no control over what he was saying.

 

“Kuroo-san.” He started, his eyes closed, his mind seemingly malfunctioning with drowsiness.

 

“Hm?” He heard Kuroo answer.

 

“You smell good.” He felt Kuroo stiffen, but his brain could not process why.

 

“Eh?” Was all he could hear.

 

“You smell like baby powder and citrus.” He snuggled a little closer, as if chasing the warmth that was Kuroo’s shoulder.

 

He heard Kuroo inhale sharply, but he didn’t open his eyes, or more like he felt like he could not open them.

 

“Probably the shampoo and the soap.” Kuroo muttered.

 

“Hm.” He heard himself hum in response. He still tried to fight his drowsiness, finding himself opening and closing his mouth but his mind failed him. The only words that came from his mouth were the sensations he was feeling at the moment.

 

“You feel warm. ‘s nice.” He heard himself mumble.

 

“Glad my warmth can be of use to you.” There was an unfamiliar softness in the voice that he heard from Kuroo, and he wondered if he was already dreaming.

 

“Mm.”

 

“Tsukki.”

 

He felt his head bump at something hard, and fluffy, and warm, and he nudged a little closer.

 

“Y-you sleepy?” There definitely was a crack in Kuroo’s voice, but he might have heard wrong.

 

“Mmm.” Was all he could muster.

 

“Want to go back to your room so you can lie down and sleep?” Kuroo’s voice was soothing to his ear and it made him sleepier.

 

“ ‘s fine. Let’s stay like this.” His words slurred a little bit.

 

“You won’t be comfortable here like this. Your neck might hurt after a while.”

 

It took a while before his brain could absorb what Kuroo said and he grunted in response.

 

“ ‘s fine. Feels...nice to be with...you like...this.” His voice was low, almost whispering, and he felt Kuroo shudder. Or was it him who shuddered?

 

He heard Kuroo’s nervous laugh and his consciousness was now barely hanging by a thread he’s practically seeing running cats with his eyes closed.

 

“I swear, Tsukki, you will be the death of me.” Were the last words he heard before he drifted off to sleep.


	2. II-	Denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feelings you can only deny, but you cannot stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To Cici, my friend. Here it is. 
> 
> *The next chapters will be an emotional ride. Please bear with me. Also, Thank you so much for the Kudos. I'm new here, and basically new to writing so I'm still not very familiar with how this is supposed to go. >_<

* * *

 

Tsukishima awoke to something warm brushing his cheeks and a faint voice calling out his name. He fought the urge to open his eyes, not wanting to let go of the comfortable, warm feeling.

 

 “-ki...”

 

He felt a soft tap on his cheek, followed by a finger that brushed his jaw, and then his forehead. He couldn’t help but hum in appreciation at the comfort that it brought him.

 

“Tsukki.” A light tap on his cheek again, and this time he slowly opened his eyes. His limbs felt weak, his eyes so heavy to even open a little, his neck now feeling like it had been twisted halfway.

 

“Tsukki.” The voice seemed too close to his ears, and he squinted his eyes.

 

“Huh?” He muttered faintly, his eyes barely open.

 

“Tsukki, we need to go back to our rooms now. It’ll be lights off soon and I’m sure your teammates are wondering where you are.”

 

He put a hand to his neck and groaned at the feeling of a prickling pain, his eyes still half-closed, his brain a little muddled.

 

“Tsukki?” A concerned voice lingered beside him.

 

He turned to look at the person who had been calling his name, which he realized was Kuroo, before he muttered another lazy “Huh?”

 

He heard a sigh and felt a hand on his shoulders.

 

“Yeah, alright. First time I saw you so out of yourself, and you’re not even drunk.” Kuroo chuckled. “Come on, I’ll help you up. As much as I want to stay here with you, we really need to go back to our rooms so we won’t worry the others.”

 

Tsukishima grumbled when Kuroo lightly pulled him up, and he staggered a little which made Kuroo’s grip on his arm a little firmer than he could tolerate.

 

“Ouch.” He winced.

 

“Sorry.”

 

This time, his brain seemed to gain some of its senses, and was now able to process what was happening around him. So he stood up, his right hand holding on to Kuroo’s shoulders, his other pressed firmly on his nape.

 

“I told you your neck might hurt.”

 

He turned to look at Kuroo again, blinking his eyes in an attempt to get a good look at Kuroo’s expression.

 

“Wha-?” He asked, his voice trailing a hint of frustration at the damn pain in his neck that just wouldn’t go away.

 

He heard Kuroo give another soft laugh before he felt a hand on pressed on his nape that made him hum in approval. Kuroo gently and skilfully rubbed the painful knots, and somehow he felt a little more relaxed.

 

“Better?” Kuroo asked, his voice amused for some reason.

 

Tsukishima, now fully awake, mumbled a low “ _yeah, thanks_.” to which Kuroo nodded.

 

“Okay, then. Let’s go. Can you manage walking by yourself?”

 

Tsukishima unintentionally gave Kuroo a glare at the question. “Of course I can. You see me limping or crawling?” Was what came out of his mouth before he could stop himself, and he couldn’t help but feel a little guilty at his unjustified irritation at Kuroo.

 

But Kuroo only grinned at what he said. “Oho? Grumpy sleeper, aren’t you? Even though you were so sweet just a while ago.”

 

Tsukishima frowned at the words Kuroo said, in confusion and frustration, because he had no idea what made Kuroo say such a thing. “Huh?”

 

Kuroo looked at him, his hands on his hips, his head a little tilted as if he’s contemplating on saying something, before he shook his head.

 

“Nah, nevermind. Let’s just go.” Was all he said before he turned around and started walking.

 

Tsukishima begrudgingly followed him, still thinking about what Kuroo meant, but didn’t say anything else. He still felt a little dizzy, his muscles tingling, but he was thankful that he was able to reach Karasuno’s sleeping quarters without much of a delay. Kuroo didn’t leave him until he reached the room where most of his teammates were already comfortably lying on their futons, already sound asleep. Before Kuroo walked away, he looked at Tsukishima.

 

“Then, this is where we part. Be sure to have a good night’s sleep. Tomorrow’s going to be another tiring day.”

 

“Everyday is a tiring day for me, Kuroo-san, especially when you’re surrounded by rowdy idiots.” Tsukishima couldn’t help but blurt out a retort at what Kuroo said.

 

He saw Kuroo pursed his lips, as if to stop himself from smiling, which irked him somehow but he didn’t comment any further. Kuroo didn’t comment any further as well and just gave him a smile, or a leer, that he wasn’t sure which exactly.

 

“Alright, you cheeky brat. Save your savagery for tomorrow’s sessions. Goodnight, megane-kun.” Kuroo said before turning around while humming, his hands on his pockets, which made Tsukishima sigh.

 

“Goodnight.” He murmured softly, still a little irritated, not wanting it to be heard but he figured Kuroo still heard him since he turned around in surprise, and gave a smile before walking away again.

 

Tsukishima shook his head at the strange turn of events and wondered why his heart was now beating erratically at his chest.

 

_From exhaustion, probably_. He deduced and shrugged his shoulders before he walked to his own bed and put his phone and headphones inside his bag. He looked around and saw that most of the loud ones were still not in the room, to which he was thankful for. He sighed again before he slid himself inside his futon. He was so tired, and sleepy that he forgot he was still wearing Kuroo’s jacket, and he fell asleep.

 

* * *

 

 The morning after wasn’t as much of a disaster as Tsukishima had expected, when he woke up with Kuroo’s jacket still on him, and Hinata hollering why he was wearing one of Nekoma’s jackets waking up some of the others who were still fast asleep, Kageyama looking at him half-curious, half-upset, and Yamaguchi muttering in his sleep despite the noise Hinata was making. He scrunched his face and immediately looked for his glasses, after he grumbled an annoyed “ _Shut up_ ” to Hinata. He wasn’t much of a morning person, with Yamaguchi always referring to him as the Morning Demon, but during training camps, he normally wakes up earlier than the others, mostly because he wasn’t the type of a person who can sleep comfortably in an unfamiliar place with a crowd he isn’t too fond of.

 

But surprisingly, he woke up with a better mood, well better than his mood normally is during mornings. He slept comfortably, unlike all the previous nights during their training camps, and so despite his mild annoyance at the volume of Hinata’s voice, he felt unusually relaxed.

 

Hinata’s loud curiosity about the red jacket he was wearing made him look down and saw what Hinata kept yapping about, and he realized, to his dismay, that he really slept with Kuroo’s jacket on. However, he didn’t say anything, he simply took it off and folded it, stood up and walked outside as nonchalant as he could despite the curious gazes of his now awake teammates.

 

After a not-so-peaceful breakfast, they had a few more practice matches with the other teams. They weren’t given much time to idle around since it was the last day of their weekly training camp before the qualifiers, which meant he wasn’t able to get a chance to talk to Kuroo all throughout the day, except for when their teams were playing against each other. Kuroo kept egging him on, but he only responded with a sour look, to which apparently made Kuroo more amused. The jacket, however, was never brought up, and Tsukishima found it a little difficult to just mention it with a net between their faces. So, he waited for the proper time, which was when they were preparing to go home.

 

He saw Kuroo talking with Sawamura when he and Yamaguchi finally went outside after packing their things, and by how the latter seemed to be handing something like a phone to Kuroo, Tsukishima guessed they were probably exchanging contact numbers. When Kuroo saw him, he said something to Sawamura, and hurriedly approached Tsukishima.

 

“Yo, Tsukki!” Kuroo’s grin was wide, looking almost ecstatic while running over to where he was standing with Yamaguchi.

 

“I’ll board the bus first, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi said when he saw Kuroo approaching them, his smile a little timid. “Hand your bag over, I’ll wait for you inside.”

 

“Thanks. I won’t be long.” He muttered, handing Yamaguchi his bag, and ignoring the sudden knot in his stomach.

 

When Kuroo was finally in front of him, panting a little, hands on his waist, his hair sticking up more than it had in the morning, Tsukishima couldn’t help but think that the man in front of him really is attractive, even to someone like him who rarely thinks that of other people. There was just something about Kuroo that makes him too appealing, too charismatic even with his exasperating taunts. It’s like his presence alone demands to be noticed. Something he will never be able to pull off. Not that he wants to though.

 

“So, this is it then.” Was the first thing Kuroo said.

 

“What is it?”

 

“I mean, a few days from now will be the qualifier matches. I’m not too sure if I was able to teach you properly, but I hope you were able to learn a few things from me.”

 

Kuroo smiled, this time it was an unsure smile, his eyes softer than he remembered them.

 

“I did learn a lot from you Kuroo-san.” His words weren’t laced with any sarcasm. “Although, right now, I am still unsure about a lot of things, but I will do what I can, at least, using what you have taught me.”

 

What he said made Kuroo’s eyes a little wider, surprised by his honesty. The genuine smile that slowly appeared on Kuroo’s face made his chest feel warm, and he clenched his fist at the unwelcome feeling.

 

“That’s great to hear, Tsukki. Bokuto told me to tell you beat Ushiwaka’s ass in the match.”

 

“ _That_ would be inappropriate.” He answered dryly which made Kuroo chuckle.

 

He heard Takeda’s voice saying that they’ll be departing soon. He gripped the neatly folded jacket in his left hand and handed it over to Kuroo, not sure why he felt like extending their conversation longer than necessary.

 

“Before I forget, Kuroo-san, here’s your jacket. I’m sorry I won’t be able to have it sent to the laundry.” He said, pushing his glasses up to hide his embarrassment, while handing the jacket over to Kuroo. “And, thank you.” He said as casually as he could, ignoring the loud thumping in his chest.

 

Kuroo grinned at him, took the jacket from his hand, and shrugged. “Nah, don’t mention it. Oh by the way,” Kuroo stopped and took his phone out. “Is it okay if I ask for your number?”

 

_Why?_ Was what he wanted to ask, but he stopped himself. He was only thankful that Kuroo did not pursue the topic of last night further.

 

He hesitated for a few seconds before he answered. “It’s okay, I guess.” He wasn’t really in the habit of giving his contact details to other people, not to his teammates, or classmates, but when properly asked, he normally doesn’t refuse either. Unless he absolutely abhors the person asking, which definitely does not apply to Kuroo.

 

“Sweet!” Kuroo made a chortling sound after he typed his phone number and name on his phone. “We can keep an open communication just in case.”

 

“In case what?”

 

“In case you get lonely and remember that there is someone great in Tokyo that you can talk to.”

 

“Who?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Who is that someone great?”

 

Kuroo shot him a bewildered look and pointed to himself as if to clarify his point, but Tsukishima kept his expression as deadpan as it was a few minutes in their conversation.

 

“I don’t understand.”

 

“Fine. Nevermind.” Kuroo gave him an exasperated look, but his lips were upturned which meant he wasn’t really upset with his pretend obliviousness. “Just send me a message if you ever need to ask anything.”

 

“I’m not much of a texting and calling person.”

 

“Meh, I’m sure I can change that.” The smug grin was now back on Kuroo’s face, and it made Tsukishima almost regret giving him his number. He can already imagine him and Bokuto sending those annoying messages that do not make the slightest sense.

 

“I can already see my future self drown in regret because of my choice today.” He sighed.

 

“You’re being such a pessimist. I bet your future self will thank you because you’ve just made the best decision you’ve ever made today.”

 

“Whatever.” Was all he said, his face looking like life has just been sucked out of him, and Kuroo only laughed sheepishly.

 

He turned towards their bus and mumbled a low goodbye and started walking when he heard Kuroo say, “Good luck, Tsukki.”

 

He turned around to look at Kuroo again with his eyebrows raised, before saying. “Yeah, thanks. Also, you should really stop calling me that.” And then he walked away, fighting the urge to look back.

 

After boarding the bus, he sat next to Yamaguchi, who was already sleeping, and pulled his headphones out from his bag to listen to something loud that might calm him down. Throughout his and Kuroo’s short conversation, he had been feeling restless and anxious about how loud the thumping in his heart was, the tingling sensation in his skin whenever Kuroo spoke, and the warm feeling on his cheeks when their hands brushed a little when Kuroo grabbed the jacket from his hand. He was adamant to keep his poker face on, but his stomach was twisting and turning at everything that he was feeling, and he refused to understand why.

 

He put his headphones on his ears and turned the volume up to distract him. He sighed inwardly, and sank to his seat before he closed his eyes, and without noticing, he fell asleep, his worries now tucked away at the back of his mind.

 

* * *

 

  _You have 19 unread messages_

_What in the world?_ Was what Tsukishima immediately thought right after he opened his phone and saw the notification when he got home from their match against Shiratorizawa.

 

He opened the messages to see who they were from, and immediately felt dread when he saw almost all of them were from Bokuto who sent the messages in their group chat.

 

**_Bokuto Kotaro_ ** _(5:15pm)_

_Hey, hey, hey Tsukki. How was your match? Did you beat Ushiwaka’s ass?_

**_Bokuto Kotaro_ ** _(5:25pm)_

_Tsukki~_

_Yo Tsukkkiiiiii_

**_Bokuto Kotaro_ ** _(5:41pm)_

_Akaashi~ Tsukki is ignoring meeee_

**_Akaashi Keiji_ ** _(5:43pm)_

_He’s probably busy, or tired, or his phone’s probably turned off_

**_Bokuto Kotaro_ ** _(5:44pm)_

_Noooooo. I want to know if he beat Ushiwaka. Tsukkkiiii answer meeeee_

**_Akaashi Keiji_ ** _(5:45pm)_

_Don’t worry, they won._

**_Bokuto Kotaro_ ** _(5:47pm)_

_Really!???? How did you know Akaashi????_

**_Akaashi Keiji_ ** _(5:48pm)_

_He told me right after their match_

**_Bokuto Kotaro_ ** _(5:48pm)_

_Why just you???? Tsukkkiiii that’s so unfair._

**_Bokuto Kotaro_ ** _(5:49pm)_

_Why didn’t you tell me too??? Whhhyyyyyyy?? Tsukkkiiii whyyyyy?_

**_Bokuto Kotaro_ ** _(5:50pm)_

_But hey, on the other hand, it means you beat Ushiwaka’s ass. Bwahahahahahaha. This means I have complete victory over Ushiwaka now. Bwahahahahahahaha_

**_Bokuto Kotaro_ ** _(5:51)_

_Congrats~ Tsukkkiiiii. Bwahahahahahaha. I’m definitely the best now._

**_Akaashi Keiji_ ** _(5:53pm)_

_..._

**_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(5:58pm)_

_Ugghhh, why is this owl hooting nonstop now?_

**_Bokuto Kotaro_ ** _(5:59pm)_

_Hey, hey Kuroo guess what Tsukki whipped Ushiwaka’s ass and now I have complete victory over Ushiwaka. Bwahahahahaha_

**_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(6:01pm)_

_I’m going to whip your ass if you don’t stop. My phone won’t stop buzzing because of you._

**_Bokuto Kotaro_ ** _(6:01pm)_

_What?!! You’re such a wet blanket Kuroo, you bastard. Don’t spoil my victory today._

**_Akaashi Keiji_ ** _(6:02pm)_

_It’s not your victory, Bokuto-san. It’s Karasuno’s_

**_Bokuto Kotaro_ ** _(6:02pm)_

_Their victory is my victory, wahahahahaha_

 

Tsukishima rolled his eyes so hard it felt like they went to the back of his head. He sighed and plopped down on his bed before he typed a response as carefully as he could so as not to irritate the wound on his fingers. The lingering pain reminded him of the match.

**_Tsukishima Kei_ ** _(7:16pm)_

_First of all, I did not beat or whip anyone’s ass. That would’ve been gross, and highly inappropriate. Second, I only managed to successfully block ONE of his spikes, which I’m sure really didn’t help much._

**_Akaashi Keiji_ ** _(7:17pm)_

_Tsukishima, blocking one spike is already plenty enough. I’ve seen the footage._

**_Bokuto Kotaro_ ** _(7:18pm)_

_Hey Tsukkkiiii~ you’re finally here._

**_Bokuto Kotaro_ ** _(7:18pm)_

_Wait Akaashi what do you mean you’ve seen the footage?_

**_Tsukishima Kei_ ** _(7:18pm)_

_I really didn’t help all that much. It seems like I really didn’t improve much. Not that it should come as a surprise._

**_Akaashi Keiji_ ** _(7:19pm)_

_The coach had the live match recorded since he thought we might want to see it._

**_Akaashi Keiji_ ** _(7:19pm)_

_Tsukishima, trust me when I tell you that you did exceptionally well. The practice matches we had did not go in vain._

**_Bokuto Kotaro_ ** _(7:20pm)_

_Hey hey Tsukki! You shouldn’t say that. Remember that you practiced with the awesome me, Akaashi, and that jerk Kuroo. I won’t let you say that you did not improve._

**_Bokuto Kotaro_ ** _(7:20pm)_

_Also Akaashi let me watch the footage of the match. I’d like to watch Ushiwaka’s face when Tsukki blocked his spike. Bwahahahahaha_

 

While he was reading the messages that kept popping up, he received another notification for another message. This time, it was private.

 

**_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(7:20pm)_

_Congrats. Heard you won_.

 

He looked at the message for a while, thinking if he should respond, or just ignore it. He checked the group chat and saw that Bokuto and Akaashi were now talking about something else.

 

The past few weeks had been such a struggle for him, emotionally, mentally, and physically. The teams that they had to play against were good. Better than he had expected, and there were times when he had thought that maybe it couldn’t be helped if they lost. Especially during their match with Seijoh. But they won, and even though he did not want to admit it, he started clinging to that faint what-if. What if they can really make it through against Shiratorizawa? However, during the match, when he was face to face with Ushijima, he realized how lacking his abilities were. Struggling to block even just one spike, injuring his finger, and sitting in the clinic waiting to get back to the game that they may or may not win because of the evident gap of their abilities, made him feel so useless and weak. The feeling was so pathetic that even after they won, his stomach was still churning.

 

He sighed and pressed his temple to ease that prickling pain in his head before he looked at Kuroo’s message again.

 

**_Tsukishima Kei_ ** _(7:28pm)_

_Thanks._

**_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(7:29pm)_

_How was the game?_

**_Tsukishima Kei_ ** _(7:29pm)_

_Fine, I guess_

**_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(7:30pm)_

_Is it true?_

**_Tsukishima Kei_ ** _(7:30pm)_

_Is what true?_

**_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(7:31pm)_

_That you hurt your fingers during the match._

 

He raised his eyebrows at Kuroo’s question. _How did he know?_ Well, not that it matters if Kuroo does know.

 

After their last training camp, Kuroo has been incessantly sending him messages. Sometimes, he’d receive memes early in the morning, or anime giphs that were apparently hilarious according to Kuroo, which never really made him laugh. Sometimes Kuroo would send him links to music videos that were actually great to listen to, and other times were just links to useless videos about animated cats and birds. He’d even receive puns in ungodly hours which pissed him off so much, he’d thought about blocking him more than once. And when Bokuto invited Kuroo to join their group chat, he was quite horrified at the impending disaster that both of them would bring to his phone, and his mind.

 

However, Kuroo was also great at serious conversations. Tsukishima never really paid much attention to it before, but Kuroo is actually quite smart and makes a lot of sense whenever they talk about deeper subjects. Without his jerky attitude, Tsukishima would probably consider Kuroo as one of the best people he was able to have conversations with. But alas, Kuroo can also be an absolute ass, and during the few weeks that they have exchanged messages with each other, Tsukishima had become completely used to his provocations and could now give Kuroo his snarky remarks without the least bit of hesitation.

 

**_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(7:35pm)_

_? Cat got your fingers?_

**_Tsukishima Kei_ ** _(7:36pm)_

_That isn’t even funny. My fingers are fine. Nothing you should be concerned about._

**_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(7:36pm)_

_To be taken out of the game for a good few minutes doesn’t seem fine to me. You should’ve just stayed out instead of going back with wounded fingers._

**_Tsukishima Kei_ ** _(7:38pm)_

_I really should’ve. It was stupid of me to go back when it didn’t even make a difference._

 

Tsukishima recalled that gut-wrenching feeling he felt when he was waiting for the nurse’s approval to go back to the game. It was the first time he’d ever felt the need to do more, to try harder until the end. It was a scary feeling, and he was absolutely scared of what he might’ve felt if they lost. But after the game, he couldn’t help but remember all those spikes that he wasn’t able to block, and it made him feel underwhelmed of himself.

 

_Pathetic._

**_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(7:39pm)_

_That’s not what I meant. You know it’s not that. I meant, you were hurt, and you should’ve just stayed out so you can rest. Instead you went back and probably hurt your fingers more._

**_Tsukishima Kei_ ** _(7:39pm)_

_Kuroo-san, even I have days when I want to do what I can for my team, as unbelievable as that may seem._

**_Tsukishima Kei_ ** _(7:39pm)_

_Also, it’s a shallow wound. Nothing that won’t heal in a few days._

**_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(7:40pm)_

_I’m certain that you did amazing. And I’m sure that you being there contributed a lot to your win. The shrimp told Kenma that your coach said you were the MVP of the team._

Tsukishima frowned _. That midget and his big mouth._

**_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(7:40pm)_

_Can you snap a picture of the wound so I can see?_

**_Tsukishima Kei_ ** _(7:41pm)_

_Why?_

**_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(7:41pm)_

_I want to see it._

**_Tsukishima Kei_ ** _(7:41pm)_

_Why????_

**_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(7:42pm)_

_If you don’t send it to me, I’ll tell Bokuto you want him to send you a picture of his face every day, with captions of what he’s doing._

**_Tsukishima Kei_ ** _(7:42pm)_

_Ugh, fine._

**_Tsukishima Kei_ ** _(7:44pm)_

_Image attached_

**_Tsukishima Kei_ ** _(7:45pm)_

_Happy?_

****

**_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(7:46pm)_

_I’m actually not very happy with this picture, Tsukki. This looks like a serious wound. Is your finger broken? This looks like it won’t heal in just a few days._

**_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(7:47pm)_

_You should have that checked again. Also, be sure to clean that wound before you sleep. I’m sure it hurts, so you should drink something that can ease the pain._

**_Tsukishima Kei_ ** _(7:48pm)_

_Are you my mom?_

**_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(7:48pm)_

_I’m your master. If you don’t obey what I say, I’ll spank your snarky little ass._

**_Tsukishima Kei_ ** _(7:49pm)_

_Please don’t make inappropriate jokes. Your face is already inappropriate enough._

**_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(7:49pm)_

_Oho? Sassy even when wounded huh?_

**_Tsukishima Kei_ ** _(7:50pm)_

_I’m tired. Please allow me to have my moment of peace so I can rest._

**_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(7:50pm)_

_You’re no fun._

**_Tsukishima Kei_ ** _(7:51pm)_

_I’m exhausted, and in pain. Does it seem like I care?_

**_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(7:51pm)_

_I thought your wound was no big deal? How come you’re so cranky?_

**_Tsukishima Kei_ ** _(7:52pm)_

_..._

**_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(7:52pm)_

_Okay, okay fine. Clean your wounds first and have it bandaged properly before you go to sleep. Send me a picture once you’re done._

**_Tsukishima Kei_ ** _(7:53pm)_

_Why?_

**_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(7:53pm)_

_I wanted to see if you’re not bratty enough to ignore everything that I just said, even though it’s for your own good. Also, remember that thing with Bokuto if you’re planning on not sending me that picture. :3_

**_Tsukishima Kei_ ** _(7:54pm)_

_I really should consider blocking you._

**_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(7:55pm)_

_Ohoho. Believe me, you’re gonna miss my awesomeness if you do that._

**_Tsukishima Kei_ ** _(7:56pm)_

_More like I’ll be free from your absurdities._

**_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(7:56pm)_

_You’ll never know what you got until you lose it. >_<_

Tsukishima rolled his eyes again and let go of his phone to sit upright on his bed. Kuroo’s concern for him made him feel restless and nervous for some reason, and he did not want to subject himself to such emotions when he already has a lot of things on his mind. Tsukishima had known for a while that Kuroo is a considerate and caring person, despite initially appearing sly, conniving, and crafty to most people. But whenever he is the subject of Kuroo’s consideration, he’d always feel uneasy at the warm feeling it brings with it. It was an unfamiliar feeling, and it made him feel cautious of Kuroo, of himself and his emotions.

 

His phone buzzed again and he checked to see the message that popped up.

 

**_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(7:58pm)_

_The. Picture. Don’t. Forget. Bandages. Listen. To. Your. Master.  Also here’s a video of a cat talking to cheer my CUTE apprentice up: https://www....._

 

_Damn you._ He clicked his tongue and almost threw his phone when he felt his cheeks burning.

 

He shook his head and took his towel and some bandages before he went inside the bathroom.

_I need to get my shit together._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me too, Tsukki. I need to get my shit together too.


	3. III-	Affection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This feeling, I wonder what name I should give it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a little longer than I intended.
> 
> Again, thank you for the comments and kudos <3 They truly warm my heart. I feel inspired to give it my all. <3 :)
> 
> *Also, again, English is not my first or second language, and this is the first time I've ever written anything with character and plot, so please bear with the quality. Thank you for understanding. ^_^

* * *

 

 

 **_Bokuto Kotaro_ ** _(12:13pm)_

 _Kuroo_ _（_ _ꉺ_ _౪_ _ꉺ_ _）_

**_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(12:14pm)_

_What._

**_Bokuto Kotaro_ ** _(12:14pm)_

_So I was thinking_

**_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(12:15pm)_

_Out with it._

**_Bokuto Kotaro_ ** _(12:15pm)_

 _You’re so impatient~ Patience is a virtue you know (_ _・_ _ω <)_

**_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(12:16pm)_

_Not with you, it’s not._

**_Bokuto Kotaro_ ** _(12:17pm)_

_Haaaahhhh?!_

**_Akaashi Keiji_ ** _(12:17pm)_

_That was not so nice, Kuroo-san. But I agree._

**_Bokuto Kotaro_ ** _(12:18pm)_

 _You guys are so mean~ !  Fine, I’m not going to say anything anymore. (-_ _公- ;)_

**_Akaashi Keiji_ ** _(12:18pm)_

_Here we go again._

Tsukishima couldn’t help but snort at the exchange of messages while he was on his lunch. Yamaguchi was beside him, sipping through his hot tea on a cold, November weather. It was Monday and his fingers were still a little sore and bruised.

 

It was amazing how he got used to the messages he kept receiving from the people he never thought he’d get acquainted with. Although at first, he found Bokuto and Kuroo’s idiosyncrasies a pain in the ass, he surprisingly got over that part and was now able to converse with them without needing to be too polite or uptight regardless of their difference in age, probably also owing to their easygoing personalities. It was also a good thing that Akaashi was there to keep the balance from crumbling.

 

 **_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(12:20pm)_

_You’re such a simpleton._

**_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(12:20pm)_

_All right. I’m sorry, bro. I was just messing with you. So, what were you going to say?_

**_Bokuto Kotaro_ ** _(12:21pm)_

 _No not going to say anymore_ _(_ _･_ _ε_ _･｀_ _)_

**_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(12:21pm)_

_Akaashi_

**_Akaashi Keiji_ ** _(12:22pm)_

_Yes Kuroo-san_

**_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(12:22pm)_

_Don’t they say that an ace should be cool and mature?_

**_Akaashi Keiji_ ** _(12:23pm)_

_They do_

**_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(12:23pm)_

_Don’t they also say that an ace is more awesome when he doesn’t mope around?_

**_Akaashi Keiji_ ** _(12:24pm)_

_Now that I think about it, they do say that._

**_Bokuto Kotaro_ ** _(12:25pm)_

 _Hey, hey, hey~  Are you talking about my awesomeness?~ (_ _⊙_ _‿⊙_ _)_

**_Akaashi Keiji_ ** _(12:26pm)_

_Instant recovery_

**_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(12:26pm)_

 _There you are, you awesome ace. Kyaaahhhh so cool and mature_ _♡_ _＾▽＾_ _♡_

**_Bokuto Kotaro_ ** _(12:27pm)_

_꒡ꆚ꒡ Hey, hey bro!_

**_Akaashi Keiji_ ** _(12:27pm)_

_..._

**_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(12:27pm)_

_Yeah, yeah all right. So what were you trying to say?_

**_Bokuto Kotaro_ ** _(12:28pm)_

 _≧_ _ω_ _≦  Yeah, okay. Akaashi and I were talking about it a while ago._

**_Bokuto Kotaro_ ** _(12:29pm)_

_We won’t be having any club activities this weekend ~_

[\\( ﾟヮﾟ)/ ](https://www.fastemoji.com/%7C\(-%EF%BE%9F%E3%83%AE%EF%BE%9F\)%7C-Meaning-Emoji-Emoticon-Huzzah!-Ascii-Art-Hurray-Yay-Huzzah-Japanese-Kaomoji-Smileys-207.html)

_So we can have some free time before our match_

**_Bokuto Kotaro_ ** _(12:30pm)_

 _So we thought why don’t we give Karasuno a visit, yeah? (_ _★_ _^O^_ _★_ _)_

_Not sure if you’ll be available though_

Tsukishima almost spit the juice that he was drinking when he read what Bokuto sent. His jaw dropped and he was probably scowling so hard that Yamaguchi had to tap his back to see what made him look like he’d just planned to murder someone.

 

“Tsukki, you okay?” Yamaguchi asked in concern.

 

He set the bread he was eating aside because he suddenly felt like it just lost its flavour, and then he handed Yamaguchi his phone to show him the reason for the sudden change in his mood. He didn’t know if he was grimacing, or if he was frowning (probably both). When Yamaguchi read the messages, he simply chuckled, which made Tsukishima even more irritated.

 

“What’s so bad about that? I mean, they did help us out a lot during the training camps. The least we can do is welcome them properly if they do decide to come.” Yamaguchi said, his expression a little thoughtful.

 

Yamaguchi was right of course. He was, but he didn’t like the idea one bit. Didn’t like the idea of Bokuto, Akaashi, and Kuroo coming to their place. Mostly just Bokuto and Kuroo coming over. Or maybe just Kuroo.

 

 _Oh wait._ He realized that Kuroo hasn’t responded yet. So maybe he won’t be able to come. He checked the messages again to make sure Kuroo hasn’t responded. Bokuto’s message was marked as read by all of them so that meant Kuroo already read the message. But he was not typing a response.

 

“Wait, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi suddenly snapped him out of his thoughts. “Bokuto-san said this weekend right? It’s perfect!” Yamaguchi exclaimed, clapping his hands excitedly.

 

“Huh?” He asked, confused.

 

“Our cultural festival is this weekend, right? I mean, since they’re planning on coming here, you might as well invite them to the cultural festival.”

 

“Say what now?” He asked incredulously.

 

“Sorry, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi smiled sheepishly at him while scratching his head, only he didn’t really look like he was sorry at the idea he presented.

 

Although the he thought the idea was absurd, he did consider Yamaguchi’s point. The coming weekend is their school’s cultural festival, which meant it’s the perfect opportunity to have friends from other school over. However, he isn’t really the type of person to invite other people over, no matter what the occasion.

 

He felt his phone buzz in his hands and he immediately checked if it was Kuroo, which it was, to his utter distress.

 

 **_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(12:38pm)_

_This weekend? So, 2 days? We don’t have volleyball practice too, but let me check if I don’t have any errands to do._

**_Bokuto Kotaro_ ** _(12:39pm)_

 _Yeah_ _۹(Ò_ _ہÓ)_ _۶_ _Akaashi and I were thinking that we should go there on Friday right after class so we can stay for 2 nights bro. (_ _ᗒᗨᗕ_ _)_

**_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(12:40pm)_

_I have volleyball practice until 5 on Friday._

**_Bokuto Kotaro_ ** _(12:40pm)_

 _Us too.  We’ll just meet at the station at around 6._ _ಠ_ _‿↼_ _What do you think?_

**_Akaashi Keiji_ ** _(12:41pm)_

_I honestly did not know he planned to go on Friday._

**_Bokuto Kotaro_ ** _(12:41pm)_

_Akaashi Nooo~ you did not have to let him know that._

**_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(12:42pm)_

_It’s okay bro, I’m absolutely down with going there on Friday. But it’ll already be dark once we arrive at Miyagi though? Where are we going to stay?_

**_Bokuto Kotaro_ ** _(12:43pm)_

_Where else?_

**_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(12:43pm)_

_Ohohoho? I think I’ll like what you’re about to say._

_（_ _´υ_ _｀）_

**_Akaashi Keiji_ ** _(12:43pm)_

_I’m sorry Tsukishima_

**_Bokuto Kotaro_ ** _(12:42pm)_

 _At Tsukki’s place of course ~_ (ᗒᗨᗕ)

 

“Haaaaaaahhhhh!!???” Tsukishima couldn’t help but blurt out aloud, startling Yamaguchi and some of his classmates. He immediately covered his mouth; his face a little red, a vein probably popping in his forehead, and quickly composed himself.

 

“Tsukki, you almost gave me a heart attack. What happened?” Yamaguchi asked him in concern. “You look like you’ve just been shot.”

 

“I’m the one who’s going to have a heart attack.” He said through gritted teeth and breathed out an exasperated sigh. They’re all the way in Tokyo, how come they always find ways to stress him out?

 

Yamaguchi peered at the phone he was holding to look at what made his face look dimmer than Hinata’s grades. When he read the messages, he raised an eyebrow, and chuckled softly.

 

“You became acquainted with unbelievable people in just a short amount of time.”

 

Tsukishima’s nose wrinkled at what Yamaguchi said. “If only I can turn back time.” He said, fully intending to sound regretful, and started typing a response after he calmed himself down.

 

 **_Tsukishima Kei_ ** _(12:49pm)_

_Bokuto-san, didn’t they say that going to a hot spring for overnight trips with friends is much better? I’m sure that will be more fun and relaxing for you._

**_Bokuto Kotaro_ ** _(12:50pm)_

 _Oh, oh! Tsukki~ Hey hey hey!_ _ヾ_ _(_ _＾_ _∇_ _＾_ _)  Really? You think so, Tsukki?_

**_Kuroo Kotarou_ ** _(12:51pm)_

_I think visiting some friends once in a while is much better._

**_Bokuto Kotaro_ ** _(12:51pm)_

 _(_ _ᗒᗨᗕ_ _) Right, right._

**_Tsukishima Kei_ ** _(12:52pm)_

_But hot springs are great for fatigue, and the food are usually great. Isn’t it better to ease your fatigue before your match?_

**_Bokuto Kotaro_ ** _(12:53pm)_

 _Hmmmmm. That’s true._ _ꈍ_ _.̮_ _ꈍ_

**_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(12:53pm)_

_We’ve already been to a lot of hot springs, so it’s not that uncommon for us. But we’ve never been to your place._

**_Bokuto Kotaro_ ** _(12:54pm)_

 _Kuroo has a point, Tsukkiii~ (^_ _～_ _^)_

 

 _Damn it._ Tsukishima huffed an air of irritation and Yamaguchi, who was able to read the whole conversation, let out an amused snort, to which he responded with a glare.

 

 **_Tsukishima Kei_ ** _(12:55pm)_

_But our place is far._

**_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(12:55pm)_

_We’ve been to places farther than yours during school trips._

**_Tsukishima Kei_ ** _(12:56pm)_

_But this isn’t going to be a school trip._

**_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(12:56pm)_

_Which is better since it means we can get to have fun by ourselves and go all out._

**_Tsukishima Kei_ ** _(12:57pm)_

_There is absolutely nothing in Miyagi that can be fun for city people. We’re practically in the boonies._

**_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(12:58pm)_

_Tsukki, a change in scenery isn’t too bad. It can get a little suffocating in the city sometimes, you know?_

 

Tsukishima sighed again. Kuroo would probably not let this go now that he somehow seemed like he’s taking it as a challenge.

 

“Just give up, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi told him, his tone clearly amused, as he got up to go back to his seat before their teacher comes inside the classroom for their afternoon lessons.

 

“Shut up, Yamaguchi.” He replied indignantly to which Yamaguchi answered with a soft titter.

 

But Yamaguchi was probably right. Kuroo seemed really determine to win this one, and he always knew he can never convince Bokuto to change his mind as long as there was Kuroo and his schemes.

 

 **_Bokuto Kotaro_ ** _(12:59pm)_

 _Wait wait wait. Hey hey hey you guys, why are you arguing? (_ _゜ロ゜_ _)_

**_Akaashi Keiji_ ** _(12:59pm)_

_Tsukishima, if you really do not want us to go, we’d be okay with it. We don’t want to impose on you._

 

Tsukishima blinked at what Akaashi said and was slightly startled when he heard their teacher spoke signalling the start of class.

 

 **_Bokuto Kotaro_ ** _(01:01pm)_

 _Akaashi~ Noooooo. (_ _⋟_ _﹏_ _⋞_ _) I want to go~_

**_Akaashi Keiji_ ** _(01:02pm)_

_Bokuto-san, let’s not be unreasonable. We have to consider Tsukishima’s feelings on this too._

**_Bokuto Kotaro_ ** _(01:03pm)_

 _But this will probably be the only chance we’ll get to hang out with Tsukki since we’ll be busy with the matches soon, and then the exams, and then the Spring High Tournament ~ (T_ _＿_ _T)_

**_Tsukishima Kei_ ** _(01:04pm)_

_Then shouldn’t you just study for your exams? Or just stay put so you won’t waste your energy?_

**_Tsukishima Kei_ ** _(01:04pm)_

_But fine._

 

Tsukishima finally gave in. Bokuto would probably keep whining anyway if he still refused, and that would be much worse than having him over. He hoped. And a part of him really isn’t against the idea that much. Just a really small part of him.

 

It was the first time he was glued to his phone while class was already ongoing, and he wanted the conversation to be over as soon as possible.

 

 **_Tsukishima Kei_ ** _(01:05pm)_

_We’ll be having our cultural festival this weekend anyway, so, it’s probably the best time to come visit. I’ll tell the others that you’ll be coming over._

**_Bokuto Kotaro_ ** _(01:07pm)_

 _Really, Tsukkkiiii????~`_ _＼（Ｔ_ _∇_ _Ｔ）／_

_You’re the best!_

**_Akaashi Keiji_ ** _(01:08pm)_

_Thank You Tsukishima._

**_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(01:10pm)_

 _Aaaaawww, our Tsukki just won’t admit that he wants to see us too (_ _・_ _ω_ _ｰ_ _)_ _～☆_

**_Tsukishima Kei_ ** _(01:12pm)_

_I change my mind._

**_Bokuto Kotaro_ ** _(01:15pm)_

 _Nooooooo, Kuroo just shut up for once._ _(●'Д'●)_

**_Kuroo Tetsurou_ ** _(01:17pm)_

_No texting during class, you brats._

Tsukishima shook his head and just silently hoped for a peaceful weekend even with the impending disaster that will be brought by a Bokuto and a Kuroo. He’s not hoping for too much, is he?

 

_Haaaahhh. How troublesome._

* * *

 

 

Friday came sooner than Tsukishima was prepared for and there he was, with Yamaguchi, waiting in the station for more than 30 minutes for some people who he knows are only going to give him a stressful weekend.

 

When the train stopped and the doors opened, their eyes scanned the people coming out. Not even a minute passed and he immediately spotted that ridiculously tousled hair. He ignored the way his heart skipped a beat, and the way his ears felt strangely warm when Kuroo’s eyes met his and the usual devious grin spread across his face. He inhaled sharply at the way Kuroo’s eyes held his, the expression on them far too different than the sheepish grin on his face.

 

“Tsukki!” Bokuto was the first one who called out to him, and Tsukishima had to blink a number of times to stop himself from staring at Kuroo.

                                                                                         

Bokuto approached them, with Akaashi beside him still poker-faced, and Kuroo tagging behind, looking as smug as he usually does. They were wearing jackets zipped up to their chins, their hands on their pockets, and looking like they just came out of a magazine. Looking at them, Tsukishima realized they were really good-looking people. It wasn’t just their height, or their well-toned bodies, it was probably the aura they exude. The way they stood there, with people (mostly girls) looking at them in awe, made Tsukishima feel a little overwhelmed. He really did get acquainted with unbelievable people. Although, the ridiculousness of their hair would probably fit the word unbelievable more. Except Akaashi’s of course.

 

Tsukishima’s house was only 15 minutes away from the station, and his brother wasn’t home, so he told the three that he didn’t bring a car to fetch them, which was apparently better according to Bokuto so they’d have a chance to explore the surroundings on the way to his house. Yamaguchi kept bowing his head while smiling meekly when he introduced himself again, which earned him a slap on the back from Bokuto, and Tsukishima couldn’t help but wince at the sound it made.

 

The walk home was as loud as Tsukishima had expected, mostly because of Bokuto’s nonstop cooing about how empty the streets were, how cold the breeze felt despite his thick jacket, and Akaashi kept shushing him. Kuroo however, didn’t talk much at first. He was just walking silently beside Tsukishima, and sometimes he’d look at his phone, but most of the time just staring ahead. Akaashi, Bokuto, and Yamaguchi were walking ahead, with Bokuto’s arms on Yamaguchi’s shoulders; the latter smiling uncomfortably and timidly at whatever Bokuto was saying, and Kuroo and Tsukishima following close behind them.

 

“I’m sorry, we kind of forced you to agree to have us over.” Kuroo finally said after almost 10 minutes of silence. His voice sounded genuinely apologetic.

 

Tsukishima glanced at the person beside him, and shrugged. “No, it’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”

 

The sound of Kuroo’s voice so close to him in an all too familiar street made him shiver a little. It felt like they were walking home from a school that they go to together. He bit his lip at the sudden surge of warmth on his cheeks.

 

Kuroo stopped for a few seconds and sighed, to which made him furrow his brows, and then continued walking again. And then he took his hands from his pockets to gesture something with his right one.

 

“By the way, how’s your hand?”

 

He looked at Kuroo, stopping shortly before he raised his bandaged hand a little, enough for him to show it Kuroo, and walked again, a little slower this time.

 

“A little better now.”

 

“Let me see.”

 

Hearing Kuroo say those words, even if he did expect them, stunned him, as if he just heard something that wasn’t really supposed to be said between them. But he was tired, and he didn’t really have the strength left anymore to be snarky or argue with Kuroo, which he was very sure would happen if he declined. Kuroo can be a stubborn idiot sometimes, after all, even though he always treats others as brats.

 

He showed his bandaged hand to Kuroo, walking slower to allow Kuroo to take it, and when he did as carefully as he could, Tsukishima couldn’t help but flinch at the sudden warmth that invaded his skin when Kuroo held his hand. And then there was that unbearable churning in his stomach again that he had to bite his lip a little.

 

Kuroo slowly removed the bandage and Tsukishima didn’t utter a word of protest. When the bruise (or what’s left of it) on his fingers was exposed, he heard Kuroo sigh.

 

“It’s great that it’s healing a little. It must’ve been really painful.” Kuroo said, his voice a little softer, as if he was talking to himself. He was tracing his wounded fingers with light caresses like he was trying to ease the pain that was hardly even there anymore, and Tsukishima swore that the sound of his heartbeat could probably be heard from a mile away. However, despite the unrelenting twists and turns in his stomach and the painful squeeze in his heart, he didn’t pull his hand from Kuroo’s. He allowed himself to relish in the warmth and didn’t shy away from admitting to himself that the gentle traces that Kuroo’s fingers made on the almost-healed bruises was comforting.

 

“It reminds me of the fact that I was so lame on that game.” He said and looked ahead, seeing Bokuto pointing at something and Yamaguchi shaking his head at whatever the former was spouting.

 

He felt Kuroo’s gaze on him. “You shouldn’t sell yourself short, Tsukki. You did amazing. The wound on your hand is proof that you tried your best, and that your best paid off.” The voice he heard was filled with an emotion he can only describe as affectionate, and caught him off guard he almost turned to his side to look at Kuroo’s expression. Hi bit his lip again, trying to contain the unfamiliar emotion that seems to be taking over his self-control.

 

“Wounds and scars aren’t always reminders of failures you know, sometimes, they’re there to remind us of the battles we won by doing our best.” Kuroo added, his fingers now pinching the tip of his fingers gently.

 

Tsukishima didn’t stop himself this time from looking at Kuroo because of what he said, and despite his self-control, smiled a little too naturally. The warmth of Kuroo’s words enveloping his heart.

 

“You definitely sound like an old man. So full of wisdom.” He said, intending to taunt, but his tone and grin gave away his genuine amusement.

 

And when Kuroo saw his expression, he chuckled softly and looked up before he shook his head, and then looked at Tsukishima again with the usual mischievous grin on his face. “I’m your master after all.” Was all he said and then he squeezed his hand a little, avoiding the bruise, before he let go, slowly, as if wanting not wanting to. “I’ll apply a bandage on it later.”

 

Tsukishima put his hand inside the pocket of his jacket, missing the warmth of what once held it, but feeling like something heavy has been lifted from his chest. Whenever he’s with Kuroo, he finally admitted to himself, certain emotions take a hold of him and sometimes it throws him for a loop. Most of the time, the unfamiliarity, suddeness, and intensity of it unnerves him or even irritate him at some point, but there are also times, times like just that night, that the chills are somewhat pleasant and comforting.

 

He took a deep breath in an attempt to stop himself from smiling - which he failed - and calm his wildly beating heart. He and Kuroo didn’t exchange another word after that until they reached his house, but somehow, despite the silence, Tsukishima felt oddly comfortable.

 

_This feeling, I wonder what name I should give it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder what indeed. :)

**Author's Note:**

> Kuroo's 3rd person POV is actually more interesting than Tsukishima's. I wanted to keep Tsukki's character as indifferent as he was in the anime, although there will be significant developments in the next chapters (I don't think he's the type to swears so much though?, so you won't read much of him swearing in this fic). I also had a feeling that in the anime, it was Bokuto who was closer to Tsukishima than Kuroo, given Bokuto's personality. But Kuroo is probably the type to get closer, and stay closer to someone challenging like Tsukishima as time passes by.
> 
> *about the gets-sweet-when-sleepy thing, I actually got that from a male friend who's grouchy and rude asf when awake but becomes incredibly sweet when he's sleepy, like borderline vomit-inducing-sappiness, and he doesn't remember most of the thing he says to us(his friends). It's so funny. Lol.


End file.
